Yesterday, last night really, I prayed for clarity in each of the situations I'm working through. I prayed hard especially considering the circumstances within which I found myself. Sometimes you don't receive answers when you pray, in fact often you don't right away. But sometimes when you're sending one up, you just KNOW it's been heard. That feeling brings the same peace as an answer for me because I know Heavenly Father is listening. I know he's taken the problem, just like he promised, and is working on an answer. That is the beauty of having the Holy Ghost. And when he was ready, he showed me everything... Well, everything as pertains to what I asked for help with.
Last night, with absolute clarity, I saw every single situation and the way it could play out. Knowing you have free agency helps when you've been shown the outcome to several different situations. But having the Holy Ghost to guide you when you don't know how to move ahead is such an amazing gift.
I talked to an ex for nearly an hour last night (maybe even slightly more) and knew, without a doubt, that the love I felt (or even still feel for him) was pure. That absolute purity of love that I think every person should have for their significant other. He and I split ways for many good reasons, all of which still exist today. I'd always maintained he was The One and last night, I was proven right. He is The One... that I can't have. And that's ok too. I was able to let go of my need of him and just accept what we had as a beautifully pure thing.
I think that was a big part of what was holding me back in every relationship I've ever been in. I held out some bizarre hope or need of someone I knew couldn't share my life with me.
Elder Bednar at the 2011 General Conference said something along the lines of "As often as you pray, you receive guidance." I guess I never prayed about my ex. And the absolute peace I have about him now is astounding.
I am getting to know someone now. He is a wonderful man who encourages my growth, listens to my questions without regarding me as lacking intelligence, he is a positive influence and not just on my life. He's funny, smart, but most importantly, he is solid in his faith. So I'm learning about him, a bit more everyday. And with the burden of my past finally removed from my soul and mind, I can hopefully move forward. I make no guarantees, but it looks bright ahead.
Elder Scott shared HIS advice for a strong relationship at conference.
- Show affection often, readily, and comfortably.
- No unkind words.
- Pure love is potent and leads to well-developed kids. It nurtures and strengthens.
- "Marriage is WONDERFUL." (his stress, not mine)
- We will become even more deeply in love when we meet again on the other side of the veil.
(as a side note, how amazing, how absolutely beautiful to know I can have my family for all eternity...)
